Insight Magazine

September ‘16
In This Issue...

September ‘16
How to Stalk like a boss “GIRL”!

Ever wondered how your girlfriend knows everything about everyone around her, and occasionally things about you and you are yet to find out! Yes, dear. It’s called stalking skills, and guess what? You have no idea how many times a girl has judged you based on your social media profile; it’s too creepy you’d probably file a restraining order. If you can stalk, you can do anything!

By: Menna Helmy


Last but not least: Be cool

When she tells you something about her that you supposedly don’t know about but actually do, you need to always be surprised. So start practising your surprise face. 

                             Congratulations, I now officially declare you a stalker! 

Things she likes and places she goes are more important to know than you think!

You can rush there and “run into her”. Only to have her find out your favourite band is coldplay, too! Soulmates!

Make sure NOT to press on ‘add friend’ or ‘follow’...

at least not from your real account. If her account is public, bookmark her profile. If it isn’t, create a new account with an alias for a carefree creep experience.

So now you know their full name and you’ve found them on Facebook, 

 You’re not half done! You should always find them on all social media because they might be someone on Facebook and a whole different person on Instagram!

When you meet someone new, 

try to get her full name in the smoothest way possible in order to make it easier for you to find her on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc. So if you’re stuck with her first name, try saying this; “I have a friend who looks exactly like you, maybe you’re related or something, what’s your family name?”
 You are welcome.

If you are satisfied with what you have seen so far, 

and you want to take it to the next level; stalking her companions, friends, family and colleagues is the way to go. All the tips above apply on her acquaintances’  profiles of course.

Now that you’ve analysed the pictures, 

it’s time to get deeper; read all the statuses they’ve posted since the early 2000s! The phase where you get to know more about their personality and how it evolved over the years.

PS. If she’s the drama queen kind of person who complains about every single aspect in her life: RUN!

Ok, we’ve reached the most critical phase of the stalking process, 

now you get to look through every single picture of them, including cute photos they posted themselves or unflattering ones they’re tagged in. Be very careful with your scrolling as it could easily become your worst nightmare when you like a picture 50 weeks back! Or even worse: a tagged photo, so she and her friends would both laugh at your poor stalking skills